win or loose

hands on my knees, vision fading.
my legs, my butt, my, my everything. aching.
highs fives and whispered "congrats" cause we're all at a loss of breath.

at that moment.
there is one of two things on my mind.
win or loose.

and the win isn't the gold medal and the loss isn't the last place.
at the first sting of pain was i already defeated? or was i propelled?

(and im trying to find a way to make this sound cool and deep but there is no other way to say this)
(and i say "AND" too much hehe)
(anyways...)

everything aside. all the pain all the tears, the doubt, the fear, the hurt, what he thinks, what they say, what she thinks, if shes better than me or not, and if he wants her more than me. ITS GONE.
and if its not. then i've lost.

when i finish breathing hard, smiling, knowing that i pushed past every limit in my body.

i won.